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Players from all seduction schools agree on one thing – it’s all about skills. Their products would be much less appealing if they told you that skills are helpful but there are other things that will influence the woman’s decisions in the first place. This is the most important part of the definition of seduction: “deliberately enticing a person to engage in …” In other words you are in charge, what matters are your actions.

Reality check: science says that facial appearance plays a major role in human love life.

There are numerous studies that examine this subject. The one I have chosen brought results confirming the so called Self-Seeking Like Hypothesis. I favor it because of the manner this and similar experiments were organized. The authors investigated the relations between faces of real couples that were rated by many volunteers.

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The study carried out by Liliana Alvarez from Universidad Simón Bolívar, Caracas (Venezuela) demonstrated that people are able to match photographs in a way that they correspond to actual couples, with far larger probability than expected by random guessing in most experiments.

Evolutionary Psychology, human-nature.com/ep – 2004. 2: 177-194, “Narcissism guides mate selection: Humans mate assortatively, as revealed by facial resemblance, following an algorithm of “self seeking like”. Liliana Alvarez, Universidad Simón Bolívar, Caracas, Venezuela, Klaus Jaffe, Universidad Simón Bolívar

The theory says that people seek a partner that reminds them their own genotype. Don’t take it too literally though. Similar looks doesn’t mean someone’s wife is going to look like a man. No, these are more subtle similarities. But that’s science based. In most cases such people also combine in terms of attractiveness rating.

When Looks Don't Tell the Whole Story

But not always: for example an ugly man can have facial features that somehow remind his beautiful girlfriend of her own face.

So the inexperienced rater will probably comment it with popular phrases like “this guy must be loaded” or “he got game.”

Some of you are probably thinking right now: so what? Someone saw some similarities in married couples. Some dude saw the face of Jesus in his breakfast bread. Doesn’t prove anything. No, it’s not “someone.” These were over 100 volunteers from the universities in Caracas and Mérida, and the researchers tested it in accordance with all scientific standards. The photographed subjects were 36 randomly selected couples, from a list of addresses provided by a local doctor in the city of Mérida, Venezuela. The couples either had children and/or were living for at least 3 years together, and reported to have no known family relationship between them. The task for the 100 raters was to assign female target subjects to one of the males. Test subjects did not know any of the target subjects photographed. The test was performed double blind, as neither the experimenter nor the test subject knew the correspondence of the photos to the real couples.

Multiple other studies also showed striking similarity between faces of people in long-term relationships. On one website I found this list of studies confirming it:

-“Homogamy, genetic similarity, and imprinting; parental influence on mate choice preferences,” Bereczkei T., Gyuris P., Koves P. & Bernath L., 2002, Pers. Individ. Dif., 33, 677–690

-“Sexual imprinting in human mate choice,” Bereczkei T., Gyuris P. & Weisfeld G.E., 2004, Proceedings of the Royal Society, B, 271, 1129–1134

-“Married couples resemble each other to the extent that their faces can be correctly matched by strangers,” Griffiths R.W., Kunz P.R.

-“Assortative mating: a study of physiognomic homogamy,” Griffiths R. & Kunz P.R., 1973, Social Biology, 20, 448–453

-“Facial resemblance in engaged and married couples,” Hinsz V.B., Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 6, No. 2, 223-229, 1989

-“Convergence in the physical appearance of spouses,” Zajonc R.B., Adelmann P.K., Murphy S.T. & Niedenthal P.M., 1987, Motiv. Emotion 11, 335–346

Why PUA "Secrets" Don't Hold Up

The bottom line is that there are evidence demonstrating that attraction depends on our looks. Note that there are no studies showing facial similarities between people who engaged in one night stands or other casual relationships only because it is difficult to organize it from the practical point of view.

Do the PUAs think that none of all those people knew the “secret” art of seduction? How about the same experiment as Dr. Alvarez organized, but this time with faces of famous PUAs and their confirmed girlfriends? So Neil Strauss and Britney Spears or Jessica Alba are out. But why not make an experiment with the photos of Neil Strauss and Lisa Leveridge? Mix them with photos other PUAs and their confirmed wives or girlfriends, and show to people who are not into seduction.

The Self-Seeking Like Theory cannot explain everything. For sure there are other undiscovered yet facts relating to sexual attraction. But it shows how strongly genes affect human perception of what is attractive.

Imagine what happens when some PUA who by accident has facial features very similar to some cute chick approaches her with new age mambo jumbo, linguistic patterns, palm reading talk etc. To verify if his game works, he asks why she fell for him? She honestly answers… what do you think he is going to hear from her?

“I was attracted to your facial features”?? 

No way. At this point she feels compelled to buy this seduction crap. Women want deeper reasons. Those superficial are focused simply on beauty, and not such details as similar facial appearance. People in general confuse “looks” with physical attractiveness.

She just heard a new unconventional pick-up line. Than the PUA honestly revealed his “secret”, and told her about some seduction pattern, what do you thing she is going to say?

“No, no if you had other facial features I wouldn’t buy your game” ??

Women consider “types” even when looking for casual relationships. This notion is in line with the following and other similar studies:

Looks are more important to women

Hald and Høgh-Olesen investigated whether looks seem to matter for acceptance of sex with a stranger. As hypothesized, the study confirms that looks seem to have some importance for women in choice of partner – even for just a short-term partner. ”We were not surprised to find that looks are more important to women than to men. In particular, women tend to find looks more important for ‘random sex’ than men. This is probably related to reproduction”, says Henrik Høgh-Olesen. 

Some guys comment that facial similarities can’t explain it all because there are interracial couples among us (those guys of course ignore the above photo of John Lennon and Yoko Ono). This is a complete misunderstanding of what I am trying to explain here. It’s not about skin color, but shapes, and in particular proportions of the skull. Of course there are some GENERAL differences in shapes of facial features between races, but it doesn’t mean those differences are always present. For instance if you compare the faces of an interracial couple, let’s say a black man and a white woman, to random black woman,  there will be bigger facial similarities between the black guy and his white girlfriend, than between, this particular black guy and some randomly picked black woman. Unless by accident you pick a black woman who also “matches” him.

For the sake of example below you can find a photo of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren smiling together. Difficult not to perceive the exact same proportions of their faces, and even shapes of certain features. All this makes them have the same facial expression.